Death by Stupid or: How the Food Network Led to the Fall of Man

I recently enrolled in a baking class, and have come to witness yet another way in which TV (my first love) is causing society to degenerate. Goddamn cooking shows.

Look people, we all paid a lot of money to be here, there is no reason to be rushing around shoving each other, watering counters in vanilla extract and behaving as though eggs are New Year’s Eve poppers. And just because running with knives is super dangerous and tricky, does not mean it will be extra rewarding if you make it. It just makes you extra dumb.

Also I make a damn fine streusel muffin. Did I mention I’m getting fat?