Voyeurtastic

This is not my actual house, but it is about the same size.

So, let’s get into this. My landlady - whoah.

Let me be clear: my house is approximately 35 feet directly behind hers. My windows line up perfectly with hers. Also, she lives with her creepy, unemployed, 40-something nephew named George*, who has never actually introduced himself, I had to use my detective skills to figure out who she is always talking about when she says “we”. Needless to say, the majority of the time my blinds are closed. But sometimes it’s really really nice outside and I just want to open up my windows and let the super awesome sunshine in, you know?

I will put up with a hell of a lot to maintain the INCREDIBLY fantastic lifestyle of living alone. I was born to live alone people, I just can’t get enough of it. However, this just happened:

Dee (landlady, and yes there are really people named Dee) approaches me as I’m getting out of my car, like a chubby little stealth gnome with way short white hair and a cutoff sweatshirt tank top. She absolutely never says “hello” when she’s beginning a conversation, she just dives right into the topic on her mind, which I both loathe and admire about her.

So she pops out of absolutely nowhere, scaring me shitless and says, “Me and George think it’s kind of strange that this morning you opened your blinds, but then 2 hours later, you closed them again. It’s not like we’re watching you or anything”.

Uh, yes. Yes, you are.




*Named changed because unlike Dee, I think George actually knows how to surf the internet. You know, for porn and stuff.