The Hanukkah Nerd Strikes

On Wednesday, the last night of Hanukkah, my mom got me the all time nerdiest present that I have actually been longingly coveting for quite some time. A book weight. Yes, it sounds simple, but let us discuss this further.

It’s a beautiful leather oblong shaped item (my boss asked me if my mother had purchased me an S&M tool… the answer is no you sick freak – my mother and I have very different taste in S&M tools) with weights on either end and my initials embossed in the center. It holds your book open perfectly, leaving your hands to do a variety of important tasks while you read. Such as:

• Eat
• Pick your nose
• Play with your hair
• Text someone without losing your place in your book
• Eat

It is actually my favorite gift I can remember receiving in quite some time. So I say Chag Sameach to you Hanukkah Nerd!

Things That Are Embarrassing That You Didn’t Even Know You Should Be Worrying About

When you sit down too fast, and you are wearing a skirt, and your thighs literally slap together and make a loud “Clap!”, and everybody looks around and what you really want to say is “Oh, never you mind that, that was just my thighs applauding themselves for being so large and phonic” but what you actually do is look around frantically for a tiny clapping gnome.